1、上班最开心的事，就是老板不在。
Work is the most happy thing, that the boss is not in.
2、我的青春，献给了那个叫做义务教育的。
My youth, dedicated to the called compulsory education.
3、天若有情天亦老，动我姐妹全撂倒。
Heaven can be overturned, my sisters all.
4、一代天骄，成吉思汗，只识弯弓射大雕。
Genghis Khan, Gen Gi Khan, only know the Thai Wangong radio.
5、我爱的不是你，是你爸的银行账户。
I love is not you, is your father's Bank account.
6、每个月，总有那么几天不想上班。
Every month, there are always a few days do not want to go to work.
7、别让我看不上你，拿你的本事让我爱上你。
Don't let me see you, take your ability to let me fall in love with you.
8、高调最虚伪，低调才是最牛B的炫耀。
The most hypocritical high-profile, low-key is the most cattle B show off.
9、跟自己说声，对不起，这些年一直没学会爱自己。
With their own voice, I'm sorry, these years have not learned to love yourself.
10、当我们失去的时候，才知道自己曾经拥有。
When we lose, just know that he used to have.
11、谈恋爱跟叫小姐一样，只不过恋爱是分期付款。
Fall in love with miss the same, but love is installment.
12、我问我同事你在那上学呢？他说在，电大。
I asked my colleague you in that school? He said that in.
13、你完整了我的人生，但我却只是你人生中的一章节。
You've made my life complete, but I'm just one chapter in your life.
14、当幸福来敲门的时候，我或许不在家。
When happiness knocks at the door, I may not be at home.
15、以人类的体型，猪的习性活着。
In the human body, the living habits of pigs.
16、跑车，洋房，可以有，自己买。
Sports car, villa, you can have, buy their own.
17、看着你有个人皮的脸，谁知道却藏了颗禽兽的心。
Look at you have a face, who knows but hide the heart of a beast.
18、惹我光头强，揍你没商量。
Make me bald, hit you not to discuss.
19、他们的信心是我给的，你们有什么问题吗？
Their confidence is what I give, you have any questions?
20、不求与人相比，但求超越自己。
Don't compare with others, but to go beyond their own.
21、别上姐的床，姐会把你踢下床。
Don't go to my sister's bed, and I'll kick you out of bed.
22、不想变形的刚，不是好钢。
Do not want to deformation of the gang, not a good steel.
23、不要让今天的无知，变成昨天的后悔。
Do not let today's ignorance, become yesterday's regret.
24、我不要你的忽冷忽热，因为这样我会感冒的。
I don't want you sometimes hot and sometimes cold because I will catch a cold.
25、当善良的人撕下面具时，你连跪下的机会都没有。
When good people tear off the mask, you don't even have the chance to kneel.
26、我人缘好，耶稣罩我，上帝保我。
I am good, Jesus cover me, my god.
27、自己选的路，跪着也要走完。
His choice of road, kneeling also to go.
28、我给了你权利爱我，但我没给你权利放弃爱我。
I gave you the right to love me, but I didn't give you the right to give up love me.
29、我要变成仙人掌，刺死所有伤害我的人。
I want to become a cactus, stabbed to death all the people who hurt me.
30、别看姐不美，姐照样把你耍的找不着北。
Do not see the elder sister is not beautiful, the elder sister still can not play you to find the north.
31、我活了十八岁，愧对**先烈十八年。
I lived for eighteen years, eighteen years unworthy of revolutionary martyrs.
32、这几年我过的如此悲哀，什么都没换来。
In recent years I have been so sad, nothing in exchange for.
33、看我不顺眼的人我很高兴能堵住你的心。
I don't like people I am very happy to stop your heart.
34、既然姐来到了这个世上，就没打算想活着回去。
Since the elder sister came to this world, it is not going to want to go back.
35、思念，是一个人的兵荒马乱。
Miss, is a man of war.
36、不要三角恋的剧情，我恨透了那些。
Don't love triangle story, I hate those.
37、得到了站起来，换个好看的姿势在到下去。
Get up stand up, change a good position to go down.
38、去去去，别糟蹋青春那两字了，你都已经立秋了。
Go go go, don't spoil the word youth, you are already the beginning of autumn.
39、人生总要有过一次勇敢，带着理想一起去私奔。
The life must have a brave, with the ideal elope.
40、时间不是让人忘了痛，而是让人习惯了痛。
Time is not to let people forget the pain, but people get used to the pain.
41、新世界男生，钱给老婆，幸福甜蜜都给老婆。
New world boys, money to the wife, happy sweet to his wife.
42、如果你要考验我的耐心，请先把你的耐心准备好。
If you want to test my patience, please prepare your patience.
43、老妈说老婆贤惠，我看是闲得什么都不会！
My mom said I was a good wife and see what are not idle!
44、夏天中午炎热的太阳，出去玩的都是抗日英雄。
At noon in the summer, the hot sun, go out to play is the Anti Japanese hero.
45、有男不泡，大逆不道；见男就泡，替天行道。
A man does not see the male bubble, bubble, treason and heresy; justice.
46、回忆终究只是回忆，只是回不去的记忆。
Memories are just memories, but memories can not go back.
47、我把最完美的年华，献给了义务教育。
I put the most perfect time, dedicated to the compulsory education.
48、如果你爱的人不爱你，也请记得：爱由心生。
If you love people who do not love you, please remember: love from the heart.
49、天天看穿越小说，看的马桶都像穿越的洞。
Every day to see through the novel, to see the toilet like through the hole.
50、办事本来有路子，但是走的人多了，给堵死了。
Act had the road, but many people walk, blocked.
51、有些朋友，曾经无话不说，现在无话可说。
Some friends have no words, now have nothing to say.
52、带我到强大的那一天，我必定先毁了你的天下。
Take me to the strong day, I will destroy your world.
53、你要玩我感情，那就先看看自己的脸皮。
You want to play with my feelings, then take a look at your face.
54、我跟伍佰不熟，他弟弟二百五跟我很熟。
I'm not familiar with Wu Bai, his brother was familiar with me two hundred and fifty.
55、一剑一箫平生意，不负狂名十五年。
Xiao sword flat business, not fifteen years.
56、不要吹牛逼，你不知道你能吹破天。
Don't brag, you don't know you can blow the sky.
57、我是个坚强的人，彪悍的从来不需要谁担心。
I was a strong person, never need to worry about who is tough.
58、我怪自己太聪明，不该知道的都懂了。
I blame myself too smart, do not know the know.
59、媳妇都涨了，工资你怎能好意思不涨呢。
Wife wages have gone up, how can you side up.
60、人生苦短必须性感，彪悍的人生是不需要解释的。
Life is too short to be sexy, tough life is no need to explain.
61、他若爱你，不必讨好。他若不爱，更加不必。
If he loves you, you don't have to please him. If he does not love, more do not have to.
62、天空黑暗到一定程度，星辰就会熠熠生辉。
The dark sky to a certain extent, the stars will shine.
63、我和暑假分手了，因为开学那贱人！
My summer vacation and broke up, because the school Bitch!
64、如果说美貌是推荐信，那么善良就是信用卡！
If beauty is a letter of recommendation, then the good is a credit card!
65、有些缘分在开始的一瞬间就结束了，就像早泄。
Some fate in the beginning of the moment is over, just like premature ejaculation.
66、爱情是什么，爱情不是色戒就是钻戒。
What is love, love is not lust is a diamond ring.
67、有些人不需要姿态，也能成就一场惊鸿。
Some people don't need posture, can accomplish a fleeting.
68、忘=亡+心。要让我忘记，除非心死了。
Forget = death + heart. Let me forget, unless the heart is dead.
69、我现在才知道，铅笔不止是b还有你。
I know now that the pencil is more than B and you.
70、因为我是金口玉牙，所以轻易不开口说话。
Because I was a valuable advice, so do not speak.
71、狡猾和聪明的差距是在道德上，不是在智力上。
The gap between cunning and cleverness is moral, not intellectual.
72、你的眼里有个我，我的眼里有个猪。
There's a me in your eyes, I have a pig in my eyes.
73、原来，友情也有新欢和旧爱。
Originally, the friendship also has new and old love.
74、失恋算什么，中国什么都缺，就是不缺人。
What is lost in love, China is lack of anything, that is, no shortage of people.
75、男人拽，照样甩，一样在我黑名单摇摆。
Men pull, still dumped, as in my black list swing.
76、我想重新认识你，从你叫什么名字开始。
I want to know you again, from your name.
77、爱情上，有些人宁愿疼死，也不愿意放开。
In love, some people prefer to die, and do not want to let go.
78、我的聪明你看到了吗？哎，你还真是个傻瓜。
My smart you see it? Hey, you're a fool.
79、我要把你放在一边晾干，然后在收回来。
I'm going to put you on one side to dry, and then I'll get it back.
80、原谅你是上帝的事，我的任务就是送你去见上帝。
To forgive you is God's work, my task is to send you to God.