1、没什么远大理想和抱负，只想天天开心。
There is no ambition or ambition, just want to be happy every day.
2、明人不说暗话，我想做你心间上的女人。
I want to be a woman in your heart.
3、虽然你有老公了，但是多我一个怎么了。
Although you have a husband, what's wrong with me?
4、我超可爱的，你要不要考虑考虑来爱死我。
I'm so cute. Would you consider loving me?
5、这世上没有过不去的坎，只有过不完的坎。
In this world, there are no boundless barriers, only endless barriers.
6、待我长发及腰，我不洗头臭死你可好。
When I have long hair and waist, I won't stink your head.
7、有的人，做面膜的时候，比真人好看多了。
Some people, when making facial mask, are much more beautiful than real people.
8、不要对我指指点点，你美你可以去当鸡。
Don't give me any advice. You can be a chicken.
9、很多人看久了就腻，唯独你越看越喜。
Many people get tired of watching it for a long time, but the more you watch it, the happier you will be.
10、你不应该恋爱，因为你还没有遇见我。
You shouldn't be in love because you haven't met me yet.
11、很多事，介于不说憋屈，说了矫情之间。
A lot of things, between not to say condescending, say affectation.
12、爱是一种遇见，不能等待，也不能准备。
Love is a kind of meeting, can not wait, can not prepare.
13、要努力攒钱，争取买一个自动取款机！
Save your money and try to buy an ATM!
14、希望你们都能拥有爱情，而我独享金钱。
I hope you all have love, and I only enjoy money.
15、有月亮的时候不要惹我，我可能会变身。
Don't mess with me when there's a moon. I may change.
16、你身边的人潮拥挤，我腿短跟不上你。
The crowd around you is so crowded that my legs are too short to keep up with you.
17、最近的愿望是：闭眼就睡，睁眼有你。
The latest wish is to sleep with your eyes closed and you with your eyes open.
18、乌龟能够赛过兔，其实只是各走各的路。
Turtles can compete with rabbits, but in fact they just go their own way.
19、像我这种人，你除了宠着也没有其他办法。
For people like me, there is nothing you can do but spoil.
20、你都好意思撒谎了，我哪敢好意思不信？
You are ashamed to lie. How dare I not believe it?
21、公布成绩的那一刻，最容易得心脏病。
Heart disease is most likely to occur at the moment the results are announced.
22、别拿青春赌明天，输了就没有明天了。
Don't bet your youth on tomorrow. If you lose, there will be no tomorrow.
23、不要让我看见你，不然见一次爱一次。
Don't let me see you, or see love once.
24、跌倒了站起来，换个好看的姿势再倒下去。
Fall, stand up, change a good posture and fall again.
25、有些日子里，你一觉醒来，诸事完美。
There are days when you wake up and everything is perfect.
26、喜欢的人当猪养，讨厌的人拿去喂猪。
The likes are pigs, and the pesky people feed pigs.
27、既然做不了你的新娘，那就做你的娘。
Since you can't be your bride, be your bride.
28、我这人从不记仇，一般有仇当场就报了。
I never remember revenge. I usually take revenge on the spot.
29、全天下都可以是你的，但你只能是我的。
All the world can be yours, but you can only be mine.
30、一年四季都在困，只有躺在床上最清醒。
All the year round, sleepy, only lying in bed the most sober.
31、同样都是小宝贝，凭什么我要让着你啊。
They're all babies too. Why should I let you go?
32、天天看穿越小说，看的马桶都像穿越的洞。
Every day I read through the novel and the toilet looks like a hole.
33、本想住进先生的心里，没想到挺多邻居。
I wanted to live in my husband's heart, but I didn't expect many neighbors.
34、你蠢的像猪，所以没有我你就要完蛋。
You are as stupid as a pig, so you will die without me.
35、生活好难啊，随时随地都想躺地上撒娇。
Life is so difficult. I want to lie down and act coquettish anytime and anywhere.
36、只有努力过的人才知道，背景是多么重要！
Only those who have worked hard know how important the background is!
37、像孩子一样，真诚；像夕阳一样，温暖。
Like a child, sincere; like the sunset, warm.
38、很喜欢你，喜欢也没用，没用也喜欢。
Like you very much, like also useless, useless also like.
39、希望你如锦绣山河，万人向往，却属于我。
Hope you are like beautiful mountains and rivers, people yearn for, but belong to me.
40、你的矮是终生的，我的胖却是暂时的。
Your short is lifelong, but my fat is temporary.
41、喜欢你呀，像一颗奶糖，从眉间甜到脚尖。
Like you, like a candy, from sweet eyebrows to toes.
42、有情人的过情人节，有敌人的过狄仁杰。
Valentine's Day for lovers and Di Renjie for enemies.
43、跌倒了站起来，换个好看的姿势再倒下。
Fall, stand up, change a good posture and fall again.
44、每一个牛逼的人生，都有一段2B的青春。
Every cow's life, there is a period of 2B youth.
45、神马都是浮云，所以我现在开始相信驴。
The gods and horses are clouds, so now I begin to believe in donkeys.
46、初次见面，我们还不熟，你先喊我老婆吧。
For the first time, we are not familiar with each other. You should call my wife first.
47、我有一颗早起的心，可我的被窝不同意。
I have an early heart, but my bed disagrees.
48、我有车有房有存款，我怕什么，怕梦醒。
I have a car, a house and a savings account. I'm afraid of anything. I'm afraid of waking up.
49、想住进哥哥的鱼塘，冲破哥哥的心房。
Want to live in my brother's fish pond, break through my brother's heart.
50、要把温柔跟可爱藏起来，留给喜欢的人。
To hide tenderness and loveliness for those who like it.
51、有时候肥也是一种美，起码我肥而不腻。
Sometimes fat is also a kind of beauty, at least I am fat but not tired.
52、给我未来的婆婆一个差评，发货太慢！
Give my future mother-in-law a bad review. Delivery is too slow!
53、相爱没有那么容易，每个人有他的鼻涕。
It's not so easy to fall in love. Everyone has a runny nose.
54、长发及腰算个屁，有种你刘海及腰啊。
Long hair and waist count as a fart, there is a kind of your bang and waist ah.
55、对星期一各种讨厌，对星期五各种怀念。
I hate Monday, I miss Friday.
56、天气冷的像个笑话，日子过的像句废话。
The weather is cold like a joke, and life is like a piece of crap.
57、收银员说：没零钱了，找你两个塑料袋吧。
The cashier said, "There's no change. Look for two plastic bags."
58、自从用了黑人牙膏，牙齿白了，人黑了。
Since the use of black toothpaste, teeth are white, people are black.
59、在花一样的年纪里，却长成了一颗多肉。
In the same age as flowers, but grow into a fleshy.
60、我擅长气人，拉远距离，斩断人际关系。
I'm good at annoying people, pulling long distances and cutting off interpersonal relationships.
61、长的难看是最好的防身术，丑人一生平安。
Long ugly is the best defense, ugly life is safe.
62、想要所谓的好：就请放下那所谓的面子。
Want the so-called good: please put down that so-called face.
63、这天真的是太热了，想找个人冷战几天。
It was so hot that I wanted to find someone for a few days in the cold war.
64、女生晒照的自我修养：自拍三千只取一张。
Girls'self-cultivation in sunshine: self-portrait 3,000 take only one.
65、幸福就是猫吃鱼，狗啃骨头，我睡觉。
Happiness is that cats eat fish, dogs gnaw bones, and I sleep.
66、你是疯子，有点傻；疯疯癫癫到天涯。
You are mad, a little silly; mad to the end of the world.
67、有空一起谈个恋爱，没空我继续暗恋你。
Have time to talk about a love, have no time I continue to love you secretly.
68、网上买了个剃须刀，胡子没刮完手抖麻了。
I bought a razor online, and my beard was shaken and my hands were numb.
69、心里的话，要嘴对嘴才能对你说出来。
If you have words in your heart, you have to talk to each other before you can say them to you.