1、我在马路边,看到一分钱,刚要弯腰捡,原来是口痰,我靠,谁吐这么圆?

Along the road, I saw a cent, just bent down to pick it up and turned out to be a mouth sputum, I depend, who spit is so round?

2、考考你:世界上的猪一夜之间都死光了该怎么办?(打一歌名)《至少还有你》呀!

Test you: the pig overnight in the world is dead? (a title) "still have you at least" ah!

3、小猪小猪了不起,每天睡到十点起,顿顿五碗都见底,体重没有谁敢比,要问小猪在哪里?正在偷笑看短信。

Pig pig, slept at 10 o 'clock, at the bottom five bowls, weight than, no one dare to ask where the pig? Stealing a smile。

4、对不起!我不小心把“喜欢你”发到了你的手机里,如果你接受请保留;如果不接受,请把它发还给我。

I'm sorry! I accidentally put the "love you" to your mobile phone, if you accept please keep; If you don't accept, please send it back to me。

5、什么叫浪漫,明知道她不爱你,还送她99朵玫瑰。什么叫浪费,明知道她爱你还送她99朵玫瑰。愚人节快乐!

What is romantic, know she doesn't love you, also send her 99 roses。 What is waste, know she loves you also send her 99 roses。 Happy April fool's day!

6、昨天晚上我做了个梦,梦见你掉进了臭粪坑,爬上后你竟说:到底是生了个好时代,连粪坑也香喷喷。

I had a dream last night, dreamed you fell into smelly cesspit, climb up after you have said, is had a good time, even the cesspit also delicious。

7、你去超市买了一管牙膏后离开,收银员望着你的背景感叹:世道变了,猪都进化到会刷牙了!

Leave after you go to the supermarket to buy a tube of toothpaste, the cashier looked at your background exclamation: the world has changed, the pig all evolution to brush your teeth!

8、给你讲个故事,从前有个笨蛋,他非常笨,别人问他什么问题他都只会摇头或回答“没有”,这个故事你听过吗?

Tell you a story, once upon a time there was a fool, he is very stupid, others ask him what problem he would only shake head or answer "no", have you heard of the story?

9、恭喜你中了大奖,请于今天晚上十点整,带着马刀、鸟枪、土炮到中国人民银行蒙面领取。愚人节快乐!

Congratulations to you in the awards, please at ten o 'clock this evening the whole, with a sabre, shotgun, soil cannon to receive noodles to receive the people's bank of China。 Happy April fool's day!

10、遇见你是无意,认识你是天意,想着你是情意,不见你时三心二意,见到你便一心一意,如果某天我们有了退意,至少还有回忆!

Didn't intend to meet you, meet you is providence, thinking you were feeling, half-hearted when not see you, see you wholeheartedly, if one day we had the announcement, at least remember!

11、在我眼里,你看上去永远是那么无忧无虑,吃饭永远是津津有味,睡觉永远是酣然而睡。我真羡慕你啊,有时想想,做一只猪也挺好的。

In my eyes, you look is always so carefree, eat forever with relish, sleeping is a han however sleep forever。 I envy you ah, sometimes think, do a pig also is pretty good。

12、当你收到此讯息,你的手机已经中毒了,请在30秒内脱光衣服,**自转10圈,否则手机停用,你还笑!还不快脱!

When you receive this message, your phone is poisoning, please within 30 seconds stripped naked, naked rotation 10 laps, or mobile terminated, you still smile! Still not quick to take off!

13、你就要去他方远行,真诚的朋友为你送行;凛冽的寒风,挡不住我俩的友情;我握住你的手说:好好改造,争取减刑!愚人节快乐!

You will go to other travel, sincere friends to see you off。 The cold wind stop our friendship; I hold your hand say: good reformation, fight for commutation! Happy April fool's day!

14、东海鱼仓多鱼群聚,大鱼小鱼鱼游鱼碰鱼。渔民吕玉撒网去捕鱼,还没捕完天下雨。雨珠打鱼,鱼遇雨,吕玉雨中忙捕鱼。

The east China sea fish warehouse more clusters, touch the fish fish fish fish fish。 Fishermen Lv Yu net to fishing, I'm not chasing after the rainy day。 The beads fishing, fish in the rain, Lv Yuyu busy fishing。

15、我总是很爱你,是因为你总是很帅气;我有时太恨你,是因为你有时太无理;我今天祝福你,是因为你今天过节气。祝愚人节快乐无边!

I always love you, because you are always very handsome; I sometimes very hate you, because you sometimes too unreasonable; I wish you well today, because you had a throttle。 Happy April fool's day endless!

16、喜你已被美国牛精大学野蛮系无文化班录取,请带齐你的痴呆、奇难杂症到唔系九路正扑街铁达呢号美国大屎馆报道。

Like you have been admitted to U。S。 cattle with fine university department of brutal culture club, please bring your dementia, difficult and complicated to not is flapping street TieDa nine road the big shit house report。

17、为了你,我不在乎世俗的眼光,不顾所有流言蜚语,只要能拥有你,哪怕是世界末日我也在所不惜,我要大声向全世界宣布:我爱你,人民币!

In order to you, I don't care about the secular vision, in spite of all the gossip, as long as you can with you, even I'm at the end of the world, I want to loudly announced to the world: I love you, yuan!

18、不看我短信的刑事拘留,不回我短信的劳动改造。不打我电话的发配北极喂熊。时常想我电话短信联系我的,奖你一张2016的船票,送出地球。

Don't look at my message of criminal detention, not to return my messages through Labour。 Don't call me sent the arctic bear。 Often think I phone short message to contact me, for you a ticket 2016, out of the earth。

19、人活着真累!上车得排队,单恋真受罪,吃饭没香味,喝酒容易醉,上班特疲惫,抢劫还不会,挣钱得交税,就连给小猪发个短信还得收费。

One live really tired! Get on the bus line, unrequited love really suffer, eat no fragrance, drink drunk, go to work very tired, not robbery, earn money to pay tax, even send a text message to the pigs have to charge。

20、有人说你,白天像教授,晚上像禽兽。我看他们错了,因为晚上你脱了衣服是禽兽,白天你穿上衣服也不是教授,是衣冠禽兽!

Some people say that you, like professor during the day, night like a beast。 I think they're wrong, because you stripped off his clothes at night is a beast, you put on clothes during the day also is not a professor, is a beast!

21、叩响愚人节的钟声,让思念在嬉戏中绵延;送上调侃的短信,让快乐在节日里欢唱;祝福生活更加甜蜜,让幸福在生活中滋长。祝你愚人节快快乐乐!

The bell at April fool's day, let miss stretches in play; To poke fun of SMS, let happy singing in the holiday period; Blessing life more sweet, let the happiness in life。 I wish you a happy April fool's day!

22、愚人节,请把快乐的标签贴在生活里面,让欢笑特价,让尴尬减价,让放松廉价,让疲惫降价,让健康加价,让疾病下架,让美丽心情放个假。

Happy April fool's day, please put the tag in life, let the laughter specials, let embarrassment on sale, lets loosen cheap, let tired price, price for health, disease has shelves, let beautiful mood put one false。

23、愚人节不只有愚弄,还有祝福;愚人节不只有欺骗,还有问候;愚人节不只有调侃,还有真诚;愚人节,真心祝你“愚”时俱进,沉“愚”落雁。

April fool's day is not only a fool, and bless; April fool's day is not only cheating, and greeting; April fool's day is not only fun, and sincere; April fool's day, sincerely wish you "fools" by the, sink "fool" wild goose。

24、愚人节到真热闹,处处都是欢声笑。朋友之间会恶搞,捉弄之人到处跑。别人欺骗也不恼,开开心心快乐绕。祝你愚人节开心一笑!

April fool's day to really lively, everywhere is cheers and laughter。 Between friends can parody, playing tricks on people around。 Deceive others also not angered, open happy heart happiness around。 I wish you a happy April fool's day a smile!

25、你在哪?快点去看卫星电视台,快点!美国一家大型核电站被人为泄漏,造成大量生物变异!其中一只变异猩猩正在看这则短信呐!

Where are you? Hurry up go to see the satellite television station, hurry up! One of America's biggest nuclear power plant by artificial leak, cause a lot of biological variation! The variation gorilla of an among those is see this message shout!

26、一阵铃声催人起,唤醒睡在美梦中,匆忙打开瞧一眼,上面显示已迟到,撒腿赶紧往外跑。到厂一看就一个,傻瓜笨蛋涌心头,此刻才想愚人节。祝愚人节快乐!

A ringing people up, wake up sleeping in a dream, in a hurry to open the look, shown above has been late, and hurry to go out。 To the factory a while see, fool fool chung heart, at the moment to April fool's day。 Happy April fool's day!

27、收短信的人听着:你已经被包围了!幸福要与你熊抱,快乐要把你绊倒,甜蜜将对你绑票,好运要对你实施偷袭,美女想跟你学习接吻技巧,你已经无处可逃!

To receive the SMS to listen: you have been surrounded! Happy happy to bear hug with you, to trip you up, sweet for your ransom, good luck to you sneak attack, beauty want to talk to you learn kissing skills, you have nowhere to run!

28、你血压高,血脂高,职位不高。大会不发言,小会不发言,前列腺发炎。政绩不突出,业绩不突出,腰间盘突出。呵呵!愚人节快乐啦!

You high blood pressure, high blood fat, position is not high。 No speak, moment don't speak, prostate gland inflammation。 The poor performance is outstanding, outstanding performance, between the waist dish outstanding。 Ha ha! Happy April fool's day!

29、彩票想中个500万—难!情人想找个杨玉环—难!身上想百病不缠—难!难难难!其实都不难!告诉你,招财童子诞齐传:招财童子到!好运想不来都难!

Lottery tickets to a 5 million - difficult! Lover to look for a jade bracelet, difficult! Who want to or not bound - difficult! Difficult difficult difficult! Actually not difficult! To tell you, lucky boy born JiChuan: lucky boy! Good luck don't think it's hard to!

30、一岁半斤二锅头,两岁情场是老手,三岁吃喝嫖赌抽,四岁坑蒙拐骗偷,此人年少有出息,长大以后智商低,明知此人就是你,仍然坚持看到底。佩服!佩服!

One and a half jins spirit erguotou, love is two years old veteran, food and drink piao wager smoking three years old, four're incapable to steal, the man in a rare promise, low IQ, when I grew up knowing that the person is you, still see the bottom。 Admire! Admire!