1、由于“和平”号坠落,为防止损坏你的手机,请关机一周以保安全!

Due to the "peace" to fall, to prevent damage to your phone, please turn off a week to secure!

2、下岗男工不回头,手拿两个大斧头;碰见大款一声吼,该出手时就出手。

Laid-off men don't look back, with two big axes; Run into a big style with a roar, the moves when it's necessary to make moves。

3、英语绕口令测试:将peace-war-found快速地重复念三遍,流利且不出错者证明英语口语高超。

English tongue twister test: will peace - war - found repeated quickly read three times, fluent and no error proof the spoken English skill。

4、曾经有一份真诚的爱情我没有珍惜,等到失去后才追悔莫及。如果再给我一次机会,我会对那个女孩说四个字:离我远点!

There was a sincere love I did not cherish, until after losing to regret。 If give me a chance, I will said to the girl three words: stay away from me!

5、当你看到这条短信息,恭喜你,你已经从99个竞争者中脱颖而出,你赢得了我的爱,要出来庆祝一下吗?愚人节快乐!

When you see this message, congratulations, you have 99 competitors from, you won the love, I want to come out to celebrate? Happy April fool's day!

6、愚人节到了,祝天下愚人大智若愚,愚者更愚,愚得快乐,愚得其所。祝愚人们愚人节快乐。

April fool's day is coming, I wish the world the wisest man often seems stupid fool, fool is more foolish, happy fool, it is a fool。 ZhuYu people happy April fool's day。

7、曾有一分真挚的爱,我没珍惜,失去才后悔莫及,若能再来,我会说:我爱你。若要选表白时间,我希望是:愚人节!

There was a true love, I didn't treasure, lost only regret, if can come again, I would say: I love you。 If you want to choose, I hope is: April fool's day!

8、亲爱的,我又开始想你了,我对你的爱每天都在巨增,因为有人告诉我:猪肉涨价了,你能卖个好价钱!

Dear of, I started missing you again, my love to you everyday at huge increase, because someone tell me: pork markup, you can sell a good price!

9、你帅呆了,酷毙了,简直无法比喻了,你头顶锅盖手拎白菜,总以为自己是东方不败,其实你是傻瓜二代!

You handsome, cool, and can't parables, you head pot hand carry cabbage, always think oneself is east don't hurt, in fact you are a fool the second generation!

10、通知:明天上头领导下来检查工作,各同事请按要求统一着装,男士:西装领带短裤拖鞋;女士:泳装西裤皮鞋!

Notice: tomorrow above leadership inspection work, each colleague dressing, as required, please man: suit tie shorts slippers; Ms: swimsuit trousers for leather shoes!

11、教你个开心咒语;安思竹安思竹,安思之竹安思之纯竹,恭喜你学会了山东话;俺是猪俺是猪,俺是只猪俺是只蠢猪。

Teach you a happy spell; AnSiZhu AnSiZhu AnSiZhi bamboo AnSiZhi pure bamboo, congratulations you learned to shandong dialect; I is a pig I'm pig, I is a pig I was a jerk。

12、别人一夸您,我就担心,担心别人夸得不够;本无意与众不同,怎奈何您的品味出众;作为失败的典型,您老人家实在是太成功了。

Someone kua you, I worry, worry about other people kua enough; This has no intention of different, how do you taste; As the typical failure, your family is so successful。

13、鸡是用做下蛋的,牛是有活就干的,猫是挨家混饭的,羊是将来烤串的,狗是让人来惯的,你是等着出圈的。

Is used to lay eggs, chicken cow is living on dry, the cat went very seriously, sheep are barbecue in the future, a dog is a let a person to be used, you are waiting for ones。

14、我想当皇帝,怕罗嗦;想当官,怕事多;想吃饭,怕刷锅;真想揍你一顿,又怕惹祸。祝愚人节快乐。

I want to be emperor, afraid of bothersome; Get promoted, and uncertain; Want to eat, afraid to brush pot; Really want to beat you, again afraid to bring calamity。 Happy April fool's day。

15、孔子曰:打架用砖乎,照脸乎,不宜乱乎;乎不着再乎,乎着往死里乎;乎死即拉倒不用再乎也;不死者乃英雄也!

As Confucius said, a fight, brick on face on, unfavorable LuanHu; Seems not to deny, deny the almost to the dead; By death or don't pull down can also; Not the dead is a hero too!

16、你的出现令我彻夜难眠;你的声音令我无比兴奋;你的吻在我身上留下难忘的见证。因此,我今晚不睡也要等你,死蚊子。

The emergence of you made me sleepless nights; Your voice makes me happy; Your kiss on my body left unforgettable testimony。 So, I don't sleep tonight will wait for you, dead mosquitoes。

17、如果你长得难看请打110;如果你身材不好请打120;如果你脾气不好请打119;如果你觉得自己漂亮,请打我手机,详谈……

Please call 110 if you look ugly。 Please call 120 if you are out of shape。 Please call 119 if you have a bad temper。 If you think you're beautiful, please call my mobile phone, discuss……

18、通知:请大家收到短信后速到民政**领取中秋节纪念品一份,包括精美月饼盒一个,内含月圆勺一个,极品月饼渣若干。

Notice: after receiving the SMS, please get a Mid-Autumn festival souvenirs to civil administration branch, including an exquisite moon cake box, containing scoop a month circle, need some moon cakes slag。

19、一只漂亮的小猪屁颠屁颠的跑到你面前,用崇拜的眼光看着你,摇摇尾巴,甩甩**。对你唱了一首:长大后我就成了你!愚人节快乐!

A beautiful pig fart dian fart, ran to the front of you, looking at you with adoring eyes, his tail, swing the ass。 Singing a song to you: after be brought up, I became you! Happy April fool's day!

20、出门买凉拌牛肉,忽然一人牵一狗经过,那只狗眼巴巴地跟着我手上的凉拌牛肉跑,结果主人及时拉住它,我清楚地听见主人跟狗说:理性点!

Went out to buy cold beef, suddenly a man with a dog, the dog eagerly follow my hand cold beef ran, the master took it in time, I clearly heard the master and the dog said: rational point!

21、又在工作吧?我不止一次的对你说不要这么玩命工作,要注意身体。可你总是意味深长的说:不趁天暖多滚几个粪球,冬天我吃什么。

At work again, are you? I more than once said to you don't work so hard, pay attention to the body。 Can you always meaningful said: not much warm days roll how many mucks ball, winter what I eat。

22、专家最近发明了一种多用途电脑盘,该盘软的时候叫软盘,勃起之后就成为硬盘,将其外衣之后,即可成为一张光盘。愚人节快乐!

Experts recently invented a multipurpose computer plate, the plate of soft of time call a floppy disk, after erection becomes hard disk, after its appearance, can become a CD。 Happy April fool's day!

23、我说:每想你一次星星就落下一滴泪,大海就是这样形成的。你说:每想我一次你就放一个屁,臭氧层就是这样形成的。祝你愚人节快乐!

I said: every miss you once the stars fall a drop of tears, the sea is like this form。 Each time you say: think I you put a fart, the ozone layer are formed in this way。 I wish you a happy April fool's day!

24、当年同学中,把English读为“应给利息”的当了行长;读为“硬改历史”的成了**家。我读“应该累死”做了公司职员。你当年怎么读的?

The classmates, read English for "should give interest" when the President; Read as "hard to change history" became a politician。 I read dead tired "should" do the company employees。 How do you read that?

25、工作越来越忙,累得起不来床,压力越来越大,都让生活整怕,闲时又越来越没劲,幸好可以给你发发短信,嘿嘿!愚人节快乐呦!

Work is more and more busy, too tired to don't come to bed, increasing pressure, all let the fear of life, and when more and more boring, but I can give you instant message, hey hey! Happy April fool's day!

26、以前总被你欺负,打,打不过你;说,说不过你;玩,玩不过你。遗留到现在的怨气,全在愚人节这天还你,祝你傻得不生气,笨得有福气,节日快乐!

Always be you bullying, dozen, dozen however you; Say, but you said; Play, play but you。 Her legacy to now, all pay you on April fool's day, wish you stupid don't angry, stupid blessed, happy holidays!

27、这条信息让你知道:一、我们的感情最深!二、让你知道我没有把你忘记!三、我最在乎的是你!四、多吃多睡,养的胖胖的,争取年前出栏,卖个好价钱!

This message to let you know: first, our deepest love! Second, let you know that I did not forget you! Third, I care about most is you! Fourth, eat more sleep, keep of fat, such for years ago, sell a good price!

28、刘老头张罗着给他的闺女比武招亲旁边一个老头凑过来:老哥这都啥年代了还搞这个?刘:哎!我闺女力气特大,性子又烈,我能不为她找个抗打的吗?

Mr Duration just next to the daughter of the first set out to give him an old man leaned in: yes this is what s still make this? Liu: ah! My daughter to heavy strength, patience and strong, I can not find a dozen resistance for her?

29、信息打开倾听爱:爱你,天荒地老永无尽;等你,海枯石烂永无改;陪你,天长地久永无止;伴你,生生世世永无期;求你,千千万万别相信!

Information open to listen to love: I love you, glebe's old an eternity; Waiting for you, the seas run dry and the rocks crumble never change; With you, forever never stop; With you, to life everlasting life; Please, thousands don't believe it!

30、狼来了猪窝里乱成一团,猪妈妈安排:大猪去堵门!二猪去堵窗!当看到小猪时,猪妈来火了,大叫:老三,不要看短信啦!你肉多,出去把狼引开。愚人节快乐!

The Wolf to the pig nest in a mess, a mother pig arrangement: big pig plugging the door! Two pigs to plugging window! When he saw the pig, the pig mama LaiHuo, shout loudly: old three, don't look at SMS! You go out more than meat, the Wolf away。 Happy April fool's day!